ALL GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS

HAVE SIMULTANEOUSLY

QUIT OFFICE TO PURSUE 

ALTERNATIVE CAREER PATHS

DUE TO THIS UNEXPECTED PHENOMENON:

ALL FORMS OF CURRENCY-

OF LEGAL TENDER-

HAVE EVAPORATED.

EVERY ACCOUNT HAS A BALANCE OF: 

ZERO,

EVERY VAULT CONTAINS NOTHING BUT

AN ECHO,

EVERY POCKET AND WALLET

IS FULL OF WORRIED FINGERS

SCRAPING AT LINT AND BUS TRANSFERS.

NO MORE MONEY!

I HEARD IT ON THE NEWS…

NO MORE MONEY!

I SAW IT ON THIS MARQUEE

WHILE I WAS WAITING IN LINE

TO CASH MY CHECK

IT WAS FRIDAY

NO MORE MONEY!

THE SPECIALISTS

SCRATCHED THEIR HEADS

UNTIL THEIR HEADS WENT BALD

THEY STROKED THEIR CHINS UNTIL

THEIR CHINS WERE SCABBING GOATEES.

MEANWHILE: PANIC HIT THE STREETS

AND THE STREETS HIT BACK

AT THE FIRST THING THOSE HANDS

COULD GRAB

AND THE RECEIPTS RAN OUT LIKE 

BLANK SCROLLS.

PEOPLE DIED.

THEY HAVE A WAY OF DOING

THAT.

PRECIOUS METALS

MELTED.

I SAW THIS WOMAN

ON AN ELEVATOR

I WAS TAKING.

HER ENGAGEMENT RING

COOKED HER FINGER,

IT FELL LIKE THE ASH

OFF OF THE END OF A STICK

OF INCENSE. 

SHE WAS LUCKY

SHE WASN’T WEARING

A NECKLACE.

NO MORE MONEY!

YET I’M STILL RINSING 

EIGHTEEN PACKS OF RAINIER 

OUT OF MY HAIR

WHEN I TAKE A SHOWER

MOST MORNINGS.

NO MORE MONEY!

WE ONLY BOW OUT OF

INTIMIDATION AND TO THEIR FAILING

HUMAN INSTINCTS

BECAUSE WE 

HAVE FORGOTTEN

THAT WE TOO

CAN INVENT.

NO MORE MONEY!